Back to Basics: Arthur's Words of Wisdom

Imagine, if you, will, the scene. It’s a rainy day in Scunthorpe, Lincolnshire. Inside 42 Alexandra Road there sits two people around a large wooden kitchen table. At the head of the table is Arthur, resplendent in his usual light blue jumper. On his left is me, near the window so that the smoke from my cigarette would, maybe, blow out of the window. It is cold! And it’s 1995.

Arthur is asking me to listen, read and then recite a series of wise words, with seemingly little success. I was going through the motions, but I did not really understand the point of what we were doing, and I told him so.

“I know that!” he said, thinly disguising his exasperation.

“But one day you will, and then you will be thankful.”

“You may learn truth, or may even find it,” he said, “but then you must live it.”

I dutifully repeated the words aloud, and wrote them down. He continued,

“And when you feel brave enough – why then you should teach it.” He laughed out loud and stood up to walk to over to put the kettle on. I repeated the words and wrote them down.

“Ok” I said, “what is the Destiny, how would we define it?”

“Your Destiny…. hmmm, well the only way you can achieve lasting happiness and/or peace of mind is by fulfilling your life’s purpose.”

“As in your Life Path Destiny number?” I was checking to be sure.

“As in your Life Path or Destiny number” he nodded.

The kettle was boiled, and the water poured into two mugs for my fourth coffee that morning. He placed the mugs down on the table, and pointed to my pen and paper,

“Wisdom,” he said, “is achieved, where knowing removes a belief.”

I wrote this down and then repeated it aloud. I knew it was important, and I thought myself intelligent, but I didn’t really understand it.

“Not feeling so clever now?” he said, sensing my struggle. I did not reply.

“That’s because your greatest strength is also your greatest weakness.” He said, pointing at the pen and paper again. “You are indeed quick and bright and clever, but here, in this work, that is an obstacle.”

I wrote all this down and then repeated the words aloud.

“I think therefore I am,” he said, citing the words of a famous philosopher who I couldn’t remember the name of. But then he continued with his own words. “ I feel therefore I am more.” Boom!

I jumped back in, intending to recapture the conversation, but before I could get any further he cut me off, knowing that I was indeed about to ask something very trivial indeed,

“If you fuss at little things, you’ll panic at big things.” he said, leaning back in his chair and pointing at my pen and paper, again.

We continued in this way for some time, and although all I was doing was listening, writing and repeating, the whole process was exhausting. I know now that that this exhaustion came from a combination of things. First, actually doing what I was told was extremely tiring, because back then I never did it! I spent my life, throughout the 90’s, dodging, bobbing and weaving around every possible rule in order to get my way. I had a normal job and a normal life, but I was to all intents and purposes a hustler. Actually following instructions was a challenge for me. Next, though the words spoken by Arthur were just words they were also more than words, and though I did not understand how or why, they carried a weight with them, which I found hard to bear. Third, of course, was my own resistance. I wanted to learn, but really I wanted to learn what I wanted to learn, whatever I thought would make my life easier, and I didn’t want to learn anything else. Nonetheless, exhausting though all this was we continued. Maybe as I carry on with this story you would like to do as I did, to write his words down and repeat them aloud.

“A good way to help others is not to need help yourself.”

“Convention stifles originality.”

“Ignorance is usually found in the fearful.”

“The obstinate usually have hearing problems.”

“The amount of wisdom gained is easily recognised. The greater your fear of the unknown the less you’ve learned.”

“Intelligence is measured by your ability to learn. Maturity is measured by your desire to do so.”

“The wider your understanding, the greater your perception. The greater your perception the bigger your reality. The bigger your reality the deeper your peace of mind.”

“An anxiety to please will often end in humiliation.”

Deep breath now…

“To progress can be painful, but it is important and vital that progress be made – even sought after.” He was referring here to the progress of personal and spiritual development, not the social, economic or technical ‘progress’ that people think is happening in society.

“Ways to help people: remove their pain, give them direction and support them when painful lessons are learned.”

“There are no short cuts. Acting on impulse needs thought. Acting on impulse without some thought - not recommended. And getting your own back - no thank you!”

“Other people are there to learn from.”

“Always remember, the situation you are in may well be important, but how you react to it will always be more so.”

Then eventually, when my stomach was growling for some lunch, he landed the final blow,

“I consider, I understand the above and appreciate the future importance of it.”

The whole thing then felt like a contract, an oath, a commitment, which of course it was. But not to him, or anyone else, but to myself, a promise to recall these words and to live by them. And live by them I did, and save my life they did, on more than one occasion. These, as he called them, universal truths, were relevant then, and they are just as relevant now. Each one is worthy of reflection and consideration, for they are truly words of wisdom, born of a life of wide experience. How you now use them is up to you.

Please feel free to share your own thoughts about these words below.